[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtwlMuHPv9M]
clap you hands!
This song has always bothered me. I felt pressured to be happy when I was a child, and when I was a teacher, leading a class of young children, I felt like I was pressuring them. Yes, there is an opportunity to express sadness (say boohoo), so it may balance out. But who’s going to NOT clap their hands? And if you’re not happy, and you do clap your hands, does that alleviate the unhappiness in any way? (above and beyond what singing may do to help)
How do you even know if you’re happy?
I’ve always preferred to think about happiness in Spanish, because felicidad –happiness–is something permanent, ser and not estar. You cannot be transiently happy in Spanish. For transitory happiness, you would say estoy contenta, I am (for the moment) content.
Of course, that seems to downplay the virtue of content, which–in English anyway–has a meaning beyond happiness, connotative of acceptance and peace, perhaps more valuable than happiness.
Perhaps it would be better to say “If you’re in a good mood and you know it, clap your hands.” If you are in a bad mood, the clapping of the hands might cheer you up. It probably won’t make you happy.
The real question, the one that inspired me to write this blog, is if posting on Facebook (e.g.) that you are happy makes you happy. A few days ago, I commented (admittedly a bit tongue in cheek) on a Facebook post that these days practically everything gets its meaning on facebook.
When asked to explain myself, I replied that it is a philosophical question: “Do people feel better, really, if they say something like “It doesn’t get any better than this” and post a picture… does saying this make them happier with their life?”
Because rarely are their pictures or descriptions so wonderful that I cannot imagine it getting better. Of course, I understand that the intent may be to show appreciation to those you are with: your friends (picture of you all in a bar); your children (pictured at a ball game, or camping); your significant other (that special meal).
At least, part of the intent may be the compliment to your real life people… much of it seems to be to present a shiny image of yourself to your Facebook audience
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxVZYiJKl1Y&w=560&h=315]
Some research on the compatibility of different facets of the self online
I’m not judging… We all present different versions of ourselves to the world, sometimes losing the real self in the act of self-presentation. The value of this would be the subject of another post. My question is: To what extent does self-presentation change the self?
Of course, there is plenty of research focused on the effects of online networking, I am just unfamiliar with it. Some research suggests that online presentation enhances narcissism and/or self-esteem. Other studies encourage the belief that, really, people tend to be honest, within the context of trying put their best foot forward. (I wonder… is claiming to dislike dissimulation simply part of the face kept in that jar by the door?)
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9Itt02QOO0&w=640&h=480]
But my hurried lit review has not revealed research investigating the effect of self-presentation on happiness, or even content. (Although this study suggests that positive feedback from online relationships enhances well-being.) Self-esteem, although undoubtedly a component of well-being, is not related to it in a clearly necessary way… If you tell your facebook friends (and yourself) often enough that life doesn’t get much better, does this mean you really believe it, or does it mean that you really wished you believed it? And saying so make it so?
Of course, you can honestly profess the belief that life doesn’t get much better even if you are not happy. You could be content, and content to be content. Or you could simply be accepting that happiness doesn’t happen, really, not now and not ever. More likely, though, people simply want to share a moment of appreciation for what they’ve got, independently of (the illusion of) happiness.
And perhaps expressing that appreciation does lead to greater happiness content*. It’s a testable hypothesis.
*I cross out happiness because whatever happiness is, it is not so malleable as to be achieved via virtual enhancement. And while happiness is compatible with content (and angst and sorrow for that matter), it is most definitely not a necessary component of content.
“Happiness is often presented as being very dull but […] that is because dull people are sometimes very happy and intelligent people can and do go around making themselves and everyone else miserable.” (Hemingway)
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSGuBNopzBw&w=640&h=480]